Relationships | 11 December 2015Flirty Fridays: Eye Contact is Everything Share article facebook twitter google pinterest Eye contact can be a scary and uncomfortable thing, but it’s also a sign of trust and intimacy and a must in flirting. In order to show someone that they’ve really caught your attention, you’ve got to look directly into their eyes and The Flirting Bible shows you a few different techniques to get it right! Pair these with the smiling techniques we shared last week and you’ll definitely have a date for the holidays. Enter to win a copy of the book below! a Rafflecopter giveaway Make Eye Contact to Establish Trust and Intimacy Imagine seeing a cute guy or gal across the room or at a clothing shop. Now what do you do? You could look away and then kick yourself when s/he leaves. You could wait for him/her to come over to you, which may never happen. Isn’t there a better way? Yes, there is! Here is an opportunity to test the romantic waters, break out of your comfort zone, and meet someone new. To show him/her that you have noticed and that s/he has captured your attention, bat your baby blues and look directly into the other person’s eyes. Eye Contact Reveals Self-Intimacy Eye contact is the soul of flirtation. It establishes trust and intimacy. Making eye contact is a great way to introduce yourself to your interest. Eye contact should last two to four seconds. Anything longer will cause the other person to feel uncomfortable. Making eye contact is a sign of self-confidence, which is a real turn-on. Often our feelings of diminished self-esteem prevent us from making eye contact, but we must overcome this, as the very act of looking someone in the eye communicates our willingness to take a risk and our feelings about the other person. Remember, you are worth it, and the more you show this to others, the greater your odds of success. Nervous? Flirt with Your Friends First! Practicing eye contact with strangers can feel daunting. Practicing with people familiar to you can make you more confident in your ability to do this well and reinforce its importance in your flirting repertoire. Using a simple set of exercises (listed below), practice eye contact with a friend. Seated face to face, try the following, without speaking: 1. Look your partner in the eye while s/he looks down or away from you. Do this for one minute. 2. Reverse roles and repeat. 3. Finally, make direct eye contact with your partner for five- and ten-second intervals. How did you react in each of these situations? When eye contact wasn’t reciprocated, did you feel unimportant? When it was maintained, were you more at ease? Keep in mind these emotions next time you’re gazing with a stranger. Six Techniques for Giving the Best “Flirting Eye” To become a pro at making eye contact, you must practice, practice, and practice some more. Whatever you do and wherever you are, make eye contact: in an elevator, a bookstore, a restaurant, a class, on the street, in a church or temple, in a park—anywhere. Use the half-dozen techniques below interchangeably or in conjunction with one another, in situations in which you’d like to meet the eyes of a stranger. Your Eyes Say It All Did you know that your eyes flirt independently? You blink more frequently and your pupils dilate when you come in contact with someone you like. Technique #1: Glance, then look away Glance at your flirting interest for one to two seconds and then look away. Repeat several times. Once you’ve mastered this, glance at your interest for two to three seconds and then look away. Repeat several times. Use this move when in a large group, when across the room from your flirting interest, or during situations that require silence (e.g., a lecture or religious event). Technique #2: Smile and Glance Smile and glance at your flirting interest for one or two seconds. Repeat several times. Once you feel comfortable, smile and glance for three seconds and then look away. Use a shy smile or one that reaches your eyes and lights up your face. An open smile shows genuine affection and heightened interest. Go for it. Technique #3: Use the Darting Eye Glance (DEG) Men love performing the DEG. They look at a woman, look away, look again, and look away. It all happens quickly; one round of four DEGs takes no more than five seconds. The man often does this without thought when a woman he wants to meet mesmerizes him. If you receive the DEG, volley back with a smile and a glance and slowly move closer to him. Technique #4: Try the Look Down Technique (LDT) Women are experts at the LDT. They look at a man for one second and then immediately look down. They repeat this several times. Any guy lucky enough to receive the LDT can be 100 percent sure this woman wants his attention. If you receive the LDT, opportunity is knocking at your door. Respond with an open smile and make great eye contact as you make your way over to talk. Buy from an Online Retailer US: UK: Become the People Magnet You’ve Always Wanted to Be! Want to make an unforgettable first impression? Or learn how to speak in a way that makes you stand out in a crowd? Or find out what signs a love interest might give if they’re attracted to you? You’ll learn all of these flirting secrets and more with The Flirting Bible, your definitive guide to using and reading body language and other social cues to find instant adventure, friendship, fun, and romance. Nationally renowned relationship expert Fran Greene, former advice columnist for Match.com, will walk you through her thirteen tried-and-trusted techniques for becoming the most confident and attractive person in the room (no matter if you think you are or not!). You’ll learn how to: Make the perfect amount of eye contact to establish trust and intimacy Use the “flirtatious handshake” to make a memorable impression Listen in a way that makes you a people magnet Get conversations started and get noticed by using the props of flirting And so much more! Say goodbye to intimidation and “hello!” to the mate of your dreams with The Flirting Bible—your secret weapon to becoming the most fabulous flirt in town. Share article facebook twitter google pinterest If you have any comments on this article please contact us or get in touch via social media.